Review: Parents Who Love Too Much

"Actually, love is not the problem; it is the choices parents make in the name of love that are at issue, particularly since the outcome of those choices usually is not evident until it is too late to change them." p.2 Ouch!

The title of this book, written by  Jany Nelsen, Ed.D. and Cheryl Erwin, M.A., caught my eye because of a conversation my husband had with a family friend recently. He was bemoaning a bad attitude that was developing in his almost-teenage son. This, coming from a stable, conservative, Christian family. My husband and I later discussed our own observations and came up with some conclusions (for whatever that was worth!). This book crystalizes, develops and adds to what we talked about.  Here's a peek inside:

Chapter 3. The Extremes of Loving Too Much: Permissiveness and Excessive Control
Chapter 7. Why Do Parents Keep Doing What Doesn't Work?
Chapter 8. The Essential (and Uncomfortable) Process of Weaning
Chapter 10. Healthy Loving: More of What Children Really Need
Chapter 11. Where Change Begins: Understanding Yourself as a Parent
Chapter 14. No More Excuses (at Least Hardly Ever): Kind and Firm Parenting in Action

The ultimate goals of this book are "to help you discover the answers that work for you and your children and to fulfill the dreams you have for them...to guide you toward long-range thinking in parenting...(and) to give you the confidence and skills to make choices for your children...that will help them become capable, competent, happy adults who can both enjoy and make a contribution to the world around them."p. xii

While homeschooling your child does help to counteract somewhat the poor behavior and attitudes that they can bring home from a "regular" school, homeschooling families are not exempt from child-rearing "challenges".  We all bring into our parenting a bit of the baggage we carry from our own upbringing, bad habits, and - let's face it - sin in our own lives.   This book, however, is  bound to help you become a better parent if you put some of its lessons into practice. It's not fun reading, however, at least it wasn't for me: I recognized myself a little too much in the early chapters :-(   Of course, I took good notes, so there's always hope :-)

And there is always hope, of course, but no matter how much you love your children...it's never a bad thing to seek a little help when you need it, too!


Pat Fenner encourages homeschoolers - both newbies and veterans - from her site Help 4 Your Homeschool. Having graduated their 2 eldest from high school, and shooting for the same with their 3 elementary-aged children, Pat helps others look "outside the box" of standard curricula for educational resources and inspiration.

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