"Actually, love is not the problem; it is the choices parents make in the name of love that are at issue, particularly since the outcome of those choices usually is not evident until it is too late to change them." p.2 Ouch!

The title of this book, written by  Jany Nelsen, Ed.D. and Cheryl Erwin, M.A., caught my eye because of a conversation my husband had with a family friend recently. He was bemoaning a bad attitude that was developing in his almost-teenage son. This, coming from a stable, conservative, Christian family. My husband and I later discussed our own observations and came up with some conclusions (for whatever that was worth!). This book crystalizes, develops and adds to what we talked about.  Here's a peek inside:

Chapter 3. The Extremes of Loving Too Much: Permissiveness and Excessive Control
Chapter 7. Why Do Parents Keep Doing What Doesn't Work?
Chapter 8. The Essential (and Uncomfortable) Process of Weaning
Chapter 10. Healthy Loving: More of What Children Really Need
Chapter 11. Where Change Begins: Understanding Yourself as a Parent
Chapter 14. No More Excuses (at Least Hardly Ever): Kind and Firm Parenting in Action

The ultimate goals of this book are "to help you discover the answers that work for you and your children and to fulfill the dreams you have for them...to guide you toward long-range thinking in parenting...(and) to give you the confidence and skills to make choices for your children...that will help them become capable, competent, happy adults who can both enjoy and make a contribution to the world around them."p. xii

While homeschooling your child does help to counteract somewhat the poor behavior and attitudes that they can bring home from a "regular" school, homeschooling families are not exempt from child-rearing "challenges".  We all bring into our parenting a bit of the baggage we carry from our own upbringing, bad habits, and - let's face it - sin in our own lives.   This book, however, is  bound to help you become a better parent if you put some of its lessons into practice. It's not fun reading, however, at least it wasn't for me: I recognized myself a little too much in the early chapters   Of course, I took good notes, so there's always hope

And there is always hope, of course, but no matter how much you love your children...it's never a bad thing to seek a little help when you need it, too!

Homeschoolers or not - who doesn't want a capable student? Although not a new book (copyright 1998), the message inside is very timely.  The authors, Dr. H. Stephen Glenn and Michael L. Brock,  seek to provide parents with  encouragement and tools to help them enable their kids to grow into capable students and human beings.

For the most part, the case studies they look at and analyze revolve around the situations kids in public or private schools might face, but there is still much to glean here, as homeschooling families may experience similar behavior problems and relational struggles as well.

Interspersed with "School-smart Parenting Tips", this book is very practical. Because we are with them 24/7, it's very easy for homeschooling parents to fall into the trap of "doing for" our kids, and the authors show just how disabling this behavior is. Truly empowering our children happens when we create conditions that enable them to act effectively on their own behalf.

By identifying and describing "barriers" (parental behaviors which reduce children's confidence) and "builders" (parental behaviors which increase the same, parents can begin to recognize and increase the latter. Builder behaviors include:

1. checking
2. exploring
3. inviting/encouraging
4. celebrating
5. respecting

Divided into 18 chapters and 3 sections: The Capable Student, The Capable Family and The Capable Team, homeschoolers already understand how these areas interact - hey, we live it! But I understand this may be a new concept for others (smile!)

Part One describes 7 significant attributes that a capable student possess. Part Two looks at important areas to develop to create and maintain a positive family environment. And Part Three explores ways teachers and parents can "combine forces" to help develop capable students. Homeschooling families can glean much from Parts One and Two. I really appreciate the authors' perspective that any change (and in this case, in the classroom or learning arena) always begins in the home.

So, while that concept is one we all may be familiar with, it's really helpful to find a book that goes on to give you some practical tools for developing behaviors in our children that will better enable them to be stronger students and individuals when they eventually go out into the "real world"!

Like most households with small children, our family struggles with the topics addressed in the "God, I Need To Talk To You About..." series. We have purchased disrespect, lying, laziness, stealing, paying attention, bad temper and whining. Thank goodness, only one sinful trait is focused on per book!

Each book is written from the point of view of a child, about 10 years old, who has had a conflict and is being instructed on how to improve it. They are written as a prayer in which the child discusses with the Lord his bad habit and what his parents have instructed, and how he feels about all this.

On a few pages of each book, in the drawings and not part of the main text, are some pertinent Scriptures showing the two sides of the problem. For instance, in our dog-eared, sad, worn-out copy of "G. I. N. T. T. T. Y. A. Whining," there are these three Scriptures:

"A fool's mouth is his undoing." (Proverbs 18:7),
"A wise man keeps himself under control." (Proverbs 29:11), and
"The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded." (Ecclesiastes 9:17).

As a homeschool mom, I really like the "God, I need to talk to you about..." series. I initially bought these little books to just read over with my kids. I figured that they would just be an inexpensive lesson that we'd read through once or twice. However, they quickly became much more than that!

There has been a hundred times when we break from our educational plans and work on character issues for a while. The small size of these books makes it easy to keep them handy. (Ours are in a small shoebox on the school table that also holds our erasers, rulers, paper clips, and the like.) Whenever there is a disruptive issue- say, whining about the perceived length of a math worksheet- I pull out the little book and read it to her. If the behavior persists, my daughter has to read it to me. If there is still a problem, she then has to read me the contrasting Scriptures only. We haven't yet come to the point where I've had her write out the Scriptures.

After that, if they are still struggling, I would say call it a day! It can be hard to keep Scripture in the forefront of our discipline when we just want the behavior to STOP. These little books really help me to stay calm, cool, and God-glorifying in the hard moments of homeschooling my kids.

Wright on Time: Arizona is a chapter book about an RV-living, homeschooling family of four. It is the first book of a great series for any kid. They are full of big words- I underlined at least one or two per page- and it's definitely not talking down to anyone. These characters were well-developed and respectful of each other and eager to learn more about the world around them.

The writing was clear and descriptive, and the adventures were exciting but not scary. I really liked how the author, a homeschool mom of two named Lisa Cotrell-Bentley, created an enjoyable but realistic family dynamic. The kids have things in common with their parents, and the kids are their own people, but they are a family unit. The book treats being together as a family, cohesive and content, as a normal thing to be. No child in this book is sitting on a rock, focused inward on his iTunes, casting condescending looks at a parent who is cajoling him to participate in the family trip.

It was surely an educational lesson on caving and geology. I was initially expecting the family to have multiple little adventures in the course of the book, especially after seeing the word RV in the description, and opening the book to see a beautiful, hand-drawn map of Arizona, complete with state bird and flower. However, the RV wasn't mentioned until the very end, and the entire book was about one caving adventure. I initially thought as I closed the book that a lot of loose ends were left dangling- then I saw the logo on the cover. Without trying to ruin anything for anyone, it appears to me that each new state's adventure will have trailings of prior adventures. The teaser sentence for the second book, set in Utah, asks if they will learn about "the mysterious device" they found in Arizona.

Additionally on the website we are reassured that each book can stand alone, and the author envisions homeschoolers using the books as resources for their own travels or state studies, or in the case of Wright on Time: Arizona, a unit study on caves.

Reviewed by Janice Campbell

Nothing beats hands-on, in-the-trenches encouragement and advice from families who have worked with struggling learners. Sometimes, just getting a glimpse of the challenges that others face can help you face your own. In this remarkable 375-page book, author and speaker Kathy Kuhl brings together the stories of 64 families who are working with struggling learners.

Asking “Is School Working for Your Child?” Kuhl begins by discussing educational options for children with various learning difficulties or attention disorders, then proceeds to address issues such as evaluation, diagnosis, therapies, treatments and training. The planning chapter walks the reader step-by-step through the process of setting goals, learning about available options, and implementing a structure that will work best for your family. Subject-by-subject discussions offer a detailed look at creative ways to teach and evaluate. The final section in the book may be the most important of all, as it paints a vivid picture of a well-balanced homeschooling life, and points the reader to tools and resources for making it happen.

Throughout the book, sidebars and boxed information add detail and structure. Kuhl is frank about the challenges of working with a struggling learner, but she provides the reader with ample encouragement, information, and resources to approach the task with reasonable objectives. If you find yourself overwhelmed by a particular stage or task, it’s likely that the book will have just the helpful hint you need to succeed. The other parents quoted in the book have been generous and honest with their advice and encouragement, and their experiences can help you face each day with your struggling learner.

You may order the modestly priced Homeschooling Your Struggling Learner through LearnDifferently.com.

When I began homeschooling I became a "homeschool magazine junkie". I loved the dream that someday I, too, would have a family like those pictured on the covers:  a gajillion kids all dressed alike in home-made outfits, each holding their own musical instrument, and mom and dad proudly and lovingly looking on...yeah, right. I quickly learned that that wasn't us and "I'm ok with that now" (as spoken wonderfully by "the worm" in Jonah and the Whale).

What I love about this book is that, even with 10 children (!), Mrs. Farris does not claim to have her act together. She's transparent about her short falls and foibles...but she's just as transparent about passing on what she's learned over the years, to the benefit of us all. Vicki Farris (in case the name rings a bell) is the wife of Michael Farris, past-president and founder of HSLDA, and has tons of real life experience in so many areas to draw from. (She actually co-wrote this book with her daughter, Jayme, which I think makes it a truly lovely labor-of-love.)

And what I treasured most is what I learned in chapters 7 through 9 (see below). I guess I could summarize it by saying it all has to do with priorities. She refers to a speech she had to give at one point on the "Top 2 Priorities of a Homeschool Mom" - and they weren't at all what I was expecting! (p.192) Her cure for burnout (a common feeling and/or phase we all go through from time to time)? A gentle reminder to seek the Lord and cast all our cares on Him (p.174). Her practical advice on teaching a large family lessened my anathema of canned-curricula, by explaining its appropriate use and emphasizing the importance of not becoming enslaved to it (p.124). Chapters 5 and 6 are filled with useful ideas on choosing a curriculum, creating/maintaining a daily schedule, handling chores and keeping the house clean. Only the most hard-hearted will not be touched when reading how they came to trust God with their family size, and..."the rest of (her) story".

Her conversational style, the passion and earnestness that shines through, and the generous amount of tips and suggestions she provides from her own experience, makes this 287-page book a sweet and easy read.

Chapter 1 - Dispelling the Myth of the Super Mom
Chapter 2 - Why Am I Doing This Anyway?
Chapter 3 - A Matter of Surrender (family size)
Chapter 4 - Surrendering Again
Chapter 5 - Home Schooling a Houseful
Chapter 6 - Soap Suds, Shopping Trips, and Soccer Practice
Chapter 7 - Mary vs. Martha
Chapter 8 - To Love and to Cherish
Chapter 9 - When Do I Get a Coffee Break?
Chapter 10 - Planning a Wedding When Your Baby Won't Sleep Through the Night
Chapter 11 - Exchanging Ambition for Service
Chapter 12 - Strong Trees from Small Seeds

This version of Hercules by Geraldine McCaughrean is an excellent retelling of the ancient legend. It's part of her Heroes Series, which also include Odysseus, Perseus, and Theseus.

The first introduction we have to the book and Geraldine McCaughrean's scintillating way of storytelling is, unusually, the very first page of the book. Even before the list of the "cast" in the story, before his family tree, before the left-side page of publishing info... before all that is a short page just begging to be read aloud. I can just see the wizened old man whose wiry arm shoots out towards me as I walk through a Greek marketplace.

"You there! Think you're strong, do you?... There's not a man born but a cockroach could endure more hardships. Not one. Not now. Listen! before the constellations of beast stars are herded away into the far distant barns of night... Listen! before the god who holds up the sky grows weary and lets it fall- because there is no one now who could prevent it crashing onto the place beneath. Hercules is gone..."

Isn't that just the way you want your kids to hear such legend? Not as a dry lesson with a worksheet to follow, but as an amazing adventure! McCaughrean can do it! We've enjoyed other retellings by her, including Canterbury Tales and Gilgamesh.

When I took Hercules off of our bookshelf, I asked my daughter what her favorite part was. She said she liked how the scared king hid in a brass box every time Hercules returned to him to report that another "impossible task" had been completed. Quiet humor is evident in McCaughrean's writings- the characters of the ancient story come to life, and this is how the kids get enthralled with the story and remember it years later.

Our homeschool follows the classical education method, which has students cycling three times through the same material on increasingly more difficult levels. Keeping this in mind, I buy a fifth-grade book to read aloud to my first grader. Then she reads it on her own in fifth grade, and then in ninth grade she reads a more difficult version. This happens for each grade level, for instance, in second grade it would be a sixth-grade book and then a tougher version in tenth grade. Buying such a high-quality hardcover book that lasts through all these readings makes it an even better value!

Geraldine McCaughrean's books are written to a higher age group so when I read them to my elementary kids out loud, I do some fast editing. In Hercules, I left out that he was assigned the 12 tasks because he killed his wife, 6 kids, in-laws, and servants in a drunken rage. Let them read all that when they're older!

I really liked how Hercules was a gentle giant. I know I just said he killed everyone in a drunken rage, but he knew not to drink. He was forced into it (a lesson on peer pressure?). He shows regret when his strength damages something. He doesn't like to use it to kill beautiful things like the Golden Stag of Cerynia. He has dear friends. He disapproves of mistreatment of the weak.

The book has no illustrations other than the front cover. However, many times when I was reading, my kids would suddenly jump up and run over to me, demanding to see the pictures because of the vivid descriptions. The chapters were a good length to read in one session to freshly bathed and "pajamaed" kids. My younger daughter (then only 2) came in and out of the room and looked at other picture books, but she was quiet because she saw that the older kids were enthralled.

Geraldine McCaughrean's talent is what makes these ancient legends come to life and coming back to them in a few years will be a joy and not something for my kids to be intimidated by.